7 ways to get over a guy
Everyone has that relationship that nearly kills you. The break-up that destroyed my world and effectively helped mold me into what I am today occured about 3 or 4 years ago. As such, I am willing to offer my advice to the the girls who have had their hearts broken.
1. First, you must realize that things did not end because you are a bad person or he is a bad person. People are different. Some people grow apart. It's probably not you or him. You are probably just incompatiable. Once you find a guy that understands the way you work, things will be cool. You guys just probably didn't understand the logic of the other person.
2. You have learned something. Even if you think the guy is a jerk or a waste of time. Think about it. You now know a little more of what gets on your nerves and what you can't live without.
3. Find hobbies. When Levi and I broke up I took yoga 4 times a week, learned how to knit, developed an obsession with Sealab 2020, and went to bars. All are good activies that are distracting and will keep your mind off of the other person.
4. Define the new you. I'm not saying that after each relationship you will be lost, I'm just saying that people tend to lose themselves in realtionships. It happened to me. I had to redefine what I actually liked compared to the stuff that I only liked because my boyfriend did. I was young. This hasn't happened in any of my other relationships, but it's notable. Once you do figure out what makes you happy, go with it.
You cannot control anyone else's happiness. You can only control your own and hope that your happiness will rub off on other people.
5. Define the type of guy you want. By now you've experienced a lot of different types of people. You need to specifically define what you can't stand and what you really find necessary for a relationship. This idea kept me from developing random crushes on stupid people. (well, actually no it didn't. But it should have.) I personally made a list. That idea creeps some people out, but if you know me you know I tend to write pretty much everything down.
6. Find something that will always make you feel better whatever the circumstance. I don't have any ideas for what that might be for you. For me it's drinking scotch and watching Fight Club over and over again. That's gotten me though 3 break-ups thus far. It always works.
7. When you need to talk about your ex, explain to your friends what you are doing. They need to know that you need to bounce ideas off of them in order to diffuse the millions of thoughts that are probably going through your head night and day. It is a coping mechanism and it is healthy. Don't worry. That's what friends are for! However, this talking does have a limit. You are allowed to talk about the bastard, but don't say things like:
"My ex used to do…"
"My ex and I used to…"
"My ex always…"
The relationship is over. If you stop talking about him things will get easier. I know I've gone through points where I contantly talked about exes, my friends were kind enough to tell me to stop being annoying instead of ignoring me.
I guess that's all I've got. I'm not trying to tell anyone how to do anything. These are just my thoughts about the subject. I went through hell and I'd like to alleviate pain from my friends lives. If it's helpful then you should think about it. If you think I am too analytical…I am. That's how I deal with things so just stop reading this and stop talking to me.
That is all. Hope it's helpful.